full-metal-albatross's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Chrome Wars]

lol fun but way too easy

First of all this game is like Swords and Sandles except they do it alot better. The upgrades were cool and the prices were fair except the 100 mill ones but I raped so hard I just dumped points into chrome to get the items faster lol.

EASY WIN:
Right off the bat put every point into GRIT lol you get 3k health and you annihilate everybody. After that just keep getting agility and precision and Grit. I stopped playing at level 50 with 12.5k health, 1000 damage per hit, 3k per charge, nobody could ever hit me and all my attacks are over 100% chance to hit. Lol make this harder.

[Spring Winds]

i never get tired of shooting and blood

But this game did tickle me in a way that made me thing of all the pretty rainbows and unicorns and- WAIT what am I saying? I love blood and guts not this Shit Burrito with ASS on the side! I would rather have needles stabbing my balls then play this again, I would rather eat a diarrhea shit from a frog! Seriously though it is a good game for what it is and I got the #2 spot on the high score list, I am sure if I actually played this for my second time I could get the number 1 spot but I won't. (For Reason why see sentence 2 and 3) I like the music it reminded me of all those years I was stuck in tight fitting "outfits" my aunt picked out with everyone gathered around screeching and OOOooooing around me. DISSss-gusting!

[Rihanna's Revenge]

lol

Oh that is just morbidly Obese.....

[Thing-Thing Arena 3]

good but coulda bin great

I love the thing-thing games and the thing-thing arena games but what the hell man? The graphics were good, the framerate and the weapons were pretty cool but where the hell are the modes? How can I be expected to really play this more than 20 minutes when there is no goal or objective. Not even anything fun like zombies. just... what the hell man!...

Aside from that I loved the way you improved the customization especially the whole adding colors to each body part instead of just hair. Aces on that. Not a whole lot of guns compared to other thing-thing games but they were refined, good ammo, accuracy, range and damage so that's okay. I like how you toned down the enemy health in this one because my one problem with all of your games has been the retarded amount of time it took to kill one guy. I really like the death camera and the exact point you were shot, it's epic. But what the hell man where are the modes! what the hell!

Woulda bin 10/10 if it had some modes but I gotta tell ya this was pretty fun and adding achievements was pretty cool although I wish you coulda had some pictures beside them like an xbox360 setup and maybe less achievements instead of three pages lol its kinda overwhelming. At any rate when I saww this on the front page I was like, "OMG a new thing-thing game YEAHHHH!"
Then when I played it I was all like, "Omg customization rocks YEAHHHHHHH!!!"
Then when I played the game I was like, "This game is freakin sweet!.... YEAHHHHHA!!!!!" HIGH FIVE

[Portal Defenders]

easily the best game on Newgrounds

its a little taste of Castle Crashers for FREE! Come on people if you don't own an Xbox360 go kill yourself!... Don't actually do it though, seriously if you don't own one you need to play this because this is an excellent tribute to Castle Crashers with a fun story line and gameplay. There are even freakin' achievements so you feel like you're actually accomplishing something while you waste your pathetic life on Newgrounds! If you don't favorite this game I will come to your house and insult you through your window and I am super cereal about that!

[The Dragon and the Wizard]

pretty cool

The best difference game I've ever played. I love the story line and the cool art style. btw what was that song I've heard it before....

[The Eternal Battle ( )]

lol

I am probably the only person who knows this but all the models you used are from a game called Rage of Mages. Its fucking awesome. Yes the style of gameplay is DOTA but who cares? Why can't other people make games like it. For me this game is excellent because it is like playing rage of mages except you get to play it in a DOTA-esque setting. I love how you set up the items and special item shops and the bonuses you get.

My only problem is I wish you could learn spells or abilities or something and I wish there were some more stats. Great job on this game.

[Epic Excursion]

alright

This is an interesting little game with a very simple feeling and as far as that goes good job. However, the gameplay is so boring it makes math teachers look like Mickey Mouse. Just the same scrolling backgrounds over and over with the same enemy coming at you and dying in one hit. And the EXACT SAME BOSS every single time. Basically you took about 20 seconds of gameplay including the boss and looped it over and over calling it a game.

Aside from that the powerups are boring and they suck. The shield lasts for only a couple seconds, the health doesn't even matter because you rarely get hit and the NUKE! is just stupid. Kills everything on the screen.... Ya there is usually only one enemy on the screen at a time anyway its useless.

It was funny because when I played it there were only 3 people on the scoreboard including me. they only had 300 points which means they turned the game off right away. I played to 4500 or something my name is, Fuck, btw. Overall this game gets a 1/5 for major suckage.

Syncopated responds:

Wellll obviously I appreciate the extensive review and relatively in-depth gameplay, despite the fact that your numerical review is a tad harsh. You certainly make some fair points...it's definitely easy, there isn't an enormous amount of content, and I suppose the nuke is a little lackluster in the end. Anyway, thanks for the honest feedback.

But really, why dirty up my high score table like that?

[Nade Reborn]

OMFG

I like the game it's pretty fun lots of nades to choose from, the people you blow up stay on screen which is cool and lots of blood. Great job.

On a different note, I always like to read the reviews and read the worst ratings if i like a game (which I did) and I saw the most retarded thing. EVERYONE who voted zero says, "it glitched i can't start, I can't throw nades, it freezez." HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE! READ THE AUTHOR COMMENT YOU NEED FLASH 10 YOU STUPID PIECES OF SHIT! God damnit I hate people who vote a game bad when they don't even play it or for stupid fucking reasons. I'm really sorry your game is only at 3.65 right now when it should be around 4.10. It amazes me how stupid people are.