full-metal-albatross's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Tankmen: Battle 3]

addictive

This game is very repetetive but highly addictive, I could't help myself from grinding until level 50. I found it to be very easy so maybe add a difficulty setting because I didn't lose one battle the whole game.

I was surprised there was no achievement for buying every single item in the game and the $5000 weapons aren't any better than the $1000 weapons so perhaps next time, have better weapons increase damage, speed, etc.

The one and only way to keep this kind of game from being repetitive is by adding cutscenes and a story to give the game some cinematic value. The player needs something to look forward to and motivate them to continue leveling because the average person isnt going to play to level 50 without some sort of reward to look forward to.

I really want to get 10 million experience but that would mean spending days of grinding and I just don't want to. Is there anything special after level 50?

[Kock Kombat]

hilarious

Who knew you could have so much beating kocks. The brown kock really tried to jerk me around and at times he seemed too hard. But I picked up speed and beat him until he exploded all over the place. I truly am the master of beating kocks.

Sorry, but I'm too mature to make any cock jokes, I actually take reviews seriously.

[Undead End Hardcore]

very fun

Very fun game with a little replay value. Alright, so this game is definitely has the "classic" feel to it. Seriously felt like I was playing some metal slug/splatterhouse.

The music, although by different artists, fit together nicely. I really enjoyed the title screen song actually, which is probably why it's the title screen song.

The graphics were OUTstanding, I mean, if you just look at the detail put into the backgrounds and some of the foregrounds. It looks amazing and brings up all kinds of nostalgia. Your art seriously makes this game stand out for me because there are so many things going on per frame I can't even stand it.

The gameplay itself was exciting, fun and surprisingly difficult which really gave me a splatterhouse vibe. I did find it a little easy though, what with having infinite lives and checkpoint respawns. But I suppose people today can't handle classic throw-the-controller-at-the-tv difficulty. I found the melee attacks to be a tad underpowered, especially with the scarcity of the guns at some parts. It doesn't matter though because if you die, you just respawn at the same area with plenty of fresh ammo; Which I find a little too easy. A minor complaint I have is that the zombies come down to a certain point before they move forward to attack. Well, I found that you are unable to hit them when they come at you from the highest angle. Even though my bullets pass through their upper legs it doesn't hit them. This makes it a little annoying because you have to run backwards, re-adjust and then fire which causes you to take hits most of the time. Also, I found that the light at his hip is in a fixed position so when you attack and his body moves, the light does not. I'd hate to say it's unrealistic because of the game this is but it just bothers me a bit.

I was surprised to see so many recent game references, especially since this is supposed to be a recreation of late 80's, early 90's arcade games. I did catch some older references, whether they were intentional or not but still it seemed valve was a big inspiration to you. The main character even looks a bit like Ellis. The ending really messed with me too, I wasn't sure if the zombies end or not so after several attempts and failures I gave up and just ran for the jeep.

Overall, this is a solid game that you can come back to and enjoy. Replayability is often very hard for me to find in a shooter flash game.

5 out of 5 / 9 out of 10
Graphics: *****
Sound: *****
Gameplay: *****

P.S. - I'm sure I'm just an idiot but I wasn't really clear on the whole collecting tanks thing, maybe you could elaborate. I killed every enemy in the game and went every I could go but I never I had 0 tanks at the end of the level.

dogget76 responds:

:) Dude, you are my hero! Thanks a lot!

[Mad Libs 10]

hahaha

Good day, ma'am. My name is Cocky McCockstain, and I'd like to ask you a few questions about your career in Fucking. Tell me, how many years have you been working in the hard cock field?

About 69 years, but sometimes it feels longer when I've had a(n) Hard day.

Do you find it hard being a(n) Cock in the business Cunt?

Yes, I think it's moist.

Do you have a penis pill degree? And if so, from which university did you shitting?

I recieved my Bachelor of Bob Saget and my Masters of 3-titted, 2-dicked monkey fucker from the University of BOB SAGET.

How much/many cum do you make?

I make 69 a year plus benefits like cum dumpster insurance and roasted shit log insurance.

I appreciate your crusty cooperation. I wish I had your job. Does your employer need any more cocks?

No; we have enough cum farts at the office, thank you.

[Mad Libs 2]

awesome

I know you said don't post your stories but this is too funny. *SPOILER ALERT* for anyone who hasn't played the game yet. There, anyone reads past the spoiler alert is a douche.

HOLY SHIT! You have been accepted at Sir ORGASM's school of SHIT COVERED Magic. As a first-year student, you will be assigned a 69-headed Shit eating fuck monkey named Dan the Rapist who will show you around the campus, clean your a log of shit, and scratch your hard cock.

Before school begins in December, you will need to go to Turkeylackmeckastan. While there, you should purchase materials for your Battling Shitlips the sexy bitch and Simple FUCKING Spells classes.

Your lab partner will be Miley Cyrus. She's an expert at conjuring Dick-flavored cum out of cocks of The Incredible cum dumpster, so we're sure you'll get along well.

We also hope you'll join one of our after-school activities, such as the Magical SHIT Team. If you've got any questions, contact your counselor, Bill Cosby. We anticipate seeing you at Suck a dick day!

[Mad Libs! : Vacations!]

yes make more

One day, Dick Sucker Magoo decided to go on a vacation with his family. They were going to visit The World Trade Centre. They packed their Shithead's and bought 80 million tickets for the plane. When they arrived, they rented a shitty car and found a hotel.

The next morning, they explored The World Trade Centre and went shopping for cleveland steamers. They had a great time. Whle they were exploring, Dick Sucker Magoo found a Ass. It was turd filled! Baby eating O'brian accidentally fell into a dick and was rescued by shit hungry Bob Saget's. N****r Bob was attacked by wild airplane's and was almost killed!

What an exciting day it was for Dick Sucker Magoo and his family. When it was time to leave The World Trade Centre and go back home, none of them wanted to leave so they decided to stay and live at The World Trade Centre!

[Crush The Castle 2]

...

Crushing castles and killing people, CLASSIC! Seriously though, this is an extreme improvement of an already excellent game. The levels are all just as creative and fun to play and the added modifiers to what you can fire at the castles makes this game 10 times more fun.

I really likes that you added a bit of a story to it with illustrations. Great job on improving an already fantastic game.

[Crusher]

fun

i found out about this game because I had favourited the song you used. You're off to a good start already because that song is extremely catchy. I think the game is a little simplistic and the graphics could use some work but overall it is extremely addictive and fun. The sound of the crushers coming down is terrifying as it gets louder and louder. the sliding was a little a choppy but all in all the animations move pretty well. I have to mention that sometimes when you are falling down to the next level and you try to move while falling, it glitches and puts you 3 or 4 levels back up. This can be extremely annoying because the crusher will be right on your ass or kill you automatically. I liked when the robot's say "thankyou" after you rescue them.

It told me I earned medals during the game but I don't see any on my profile so I assume they aren't working which kind of sucks because it took some time to get 1,000,000 points.

A pretty addictive and fun game I'd say and right now I have the #1 high score with a commanding lead. High five

[Quick Sand]

nice

It's a fun game for sure though the artwork is lacking a bit. I have to say the physics and controls are awful, you tap the button to move and she moves very fast and very far. The jumping really needs to be more precise if you're going to make us do a speed run. I find that most of the time the character chooses to jump the same range no matter how slow or how little I tap the jump key. the wall jumping doesn't work at all, I find myself just jumping up the same wall over and over instead of alternating like you're supposed to. You should make it so you you hold down the jump key when on a wall and then release to jump to the opposite one.

The music got a bit repetitive but it's not really that much of an issue. I felt like you could have thrown some more stuff into the levels because most levels you can just ride the sand to the top, completely skipping all the obstacles. overall, it's a fun game to play for a few minutes but nothing noteworthy. I'm not sure why this was featured, it's a mediocre platformer with some bad controls. Don't get me wrong though, it's fun, but just for 10 minutes and then you pass it forever.

[Chuck versus the Game]

yes

You know, getting the character to move properly and jump, as well as the other stuff going on does take some effort. So you get a 4 for that but come on man, you should have known everyone would hate a "game" like this. It's a giant advertisement for a show most people have never heard of.

Grats on the coveted, "turd of the week" award. I've still been unsuccessful in nabbing it myself.