full-metal-albatross's News

Leave a comment...

2010-12-23 12:08:19 by full-metal-albatross

Say your piece and kindly crawl back to whatever hole you spawned from.



Is Jesus just a hoax created by christians to better sell their religion or is he alive and just in hiding like Tupac and Osama Bin Laden? It's hard to believe you could make up a guy with such a sweet beard.

Jesus... Man or Myth?


HELLO

2009-10-09 05:10:28 by full-metal-albatross

I was playing Ink Link when inspiration suddenly hit me and I drew America's most wanted sex offender....

HELLO


Like a boss!

2009-06-11 17:56:10 by full-metal-albatross

Talk to corporate
(like a boss)
Approve memos
(like a boss)
Lead a workshop
(like a boss)
Remember birthdays
(like a boss)
Direct work-flow
(like a boss)
My own bathroom
(like a boss)
Micro-manage
(like a boss)
Promote synergy
(like a boss)

Hit on Deborah
(like a boss)
Get rejected
(like a boss)
Swallow sadness
(like a boss)
Send some faxes
(like a boss)
Call a sex line
(like a boss)
Cry deeply
(like a boss)
Demand a refund
(like a boss)
Eat a bagel
(like a boss)

Harassment Lawsuit
(like a boss)
No Promotion
(like a boss)
5th of vodka
(like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk
(like a boss)
Bite a gun
(like a boss)
In my mouth
(like a boss)
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out
(like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk
(like a boss)
Jump out the windows
(like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick
(like a boss)
Snort some coke
(like a boss)
Crash my car
(like a boss)
Suck my own dick
(like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips
(like a boss)

Chop my balls off
(like a boss)
Black out in the sewer
(like a boss)
Meet a giant fish
(like a boss)
Fuck his brains out
(like a boss)
Turn into a jet
(like a boss)
Bomb the Russians
(like a boss)
Crash into the Sun
(like a boss)
Now I'm dead
(like a boss)

Like a boss!


Video Games Live

2009-05-15 18:01:20 by full-metal-albatross
Updated

So I went to video games live on May 11th and it was awesome. For those of you who don't know, Video games live is a live show where an orchestra plays music from video games like metal gear and mario bros. They came to Regina for the first time and it was definitely AWESOME. They had all 3 indiana Jones movies playing in one corner with some couches, Mario Kart wii and NHL 09 in the middle of the hall and Guitar hero setup in the other corner.

There was a Guitar Hero Competition too where everybody lined up and played Sweet Emotion on Hard. I was the first to get up there and I guess I set the bar cause out of around 50-100 people nobody came close to my score. You know it's good cause legendary Video game composer and former co-host of G4's reviews on the run, Tommy Tallarico is hosting this thing. He declares the winner and calls out my name! I was shocked, surprised and excited all at once. So I go back stage during the intermission and chat it up with Tommy about how I'm gonna come out later and what to do. He's asks me if I can play expert and I was like, "heck yes I can." So after I'm told exactly what to do I go back to my seat and wait for the end of the Mario brothers section.

After the AMAZING Chrono-trigger piece he announces me and I walk out on stage. That was the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. Thousands of people looking at me and cheering, I felt like having a heart-attack. So he tells the audience I'm going to be playing Sweet Emotion on hard and, as instructed, I tell him to raise the difficulty to expert. The crowd gave a huge cheer and I finally got started. I have to tell you it was the hardest song I have ever played just because my fingers were shaking so much. But still I managed a 350 note-streak and I hit the solo's perfect. During the song, Tommy came up behind me, rocking out on his guitar and started grinding his back into mine. You can imagine my surprise and I was like, "wtf?" I had to beat 175k to win the prize and I ended up getting about 254k so that was pretty good.

In the end I won a hat, a t-shirt, a copy of the video games live soundtrack, Atari classics and Atari Arcade games for the PC, $100 gift certificate for Future shop and the Earth Worm Jim soundtrack composed by Tommy himself. Not a bad haul just for playing Guitar Hero well. After that I gave a bow and exited the stage. The rest of the night was just amazing and people actually came up to me and shook my hand. One girl gave me a double high-five! The next day I went to Future Shop to do what else, but buy video games. Three of the employees came up and congratulated me. Telling me good job and what was it like?

Here's a picture of me and Tommy. (I have a mohawk under that hat... But you could never tell from this picture.)

Video Games Live


Murderface!

2009-04-20 09:55:26 by full-metal-albatross
Updated

I was bored so I decided to attempt to draw William Murderface in MS paint. In case you didn't know, Murderface is from a show called Metalokalypse. It's on adult swim and it's hilarious. Of course saving it as a Jpeg ruined it but whatever.

Murderface!


story book collab

2009-04-13 18:10:50 by full-metal-albatross
Updated

This is a fable for the story book collab, it has two endings please tell me which one you like better.

The Poor Jester

A very long time ago, when shining knights rode mighty steeds and fat kings ruled large castles, there lived a young jester. His name was Nester and he lived with his three brothers, Chester, Lester and Frank. All of them were jesters for the king's court and all of them loved what they did.

Nester had just turned nineteen and was now of legal age to work for the king and today was his first day. Nester had always been unsure of himself and doubtful of his abilities. He kept asking himself, would he be good enough for the king? Could he make people laugh like his brothers did? Was he funny? While waiting to be called for his performance, he could hear the crowd roaring with laughter at his brothers' antics.

"Oh poor me", he thought to himself. "How can I follow such a magnificent act like that!?"

Nester peeked from behind the curtain and saw his brothers doing spectacular flips and tumbles while juggling bowling pins. He could see the fat kings face turn cherry red with laughter and his large belly bounce up and down between chuckles. Oh, how scared Nester was. "Poor Nester," he thought to himself. He had practiced his cartwheels and flips for years but he seemed to forget everything. The laughter died down and in a booming voice the king declared, "Bring forth the next jester."

Nester could hardly move, his knees felt like rubber. Dragging his feet, he slowly approached the king. He could feel everyone's eyes fixed upon him.

"Gre- greetings, your ma-majesty," he stammered.

With a big smile the king boomed, "This is Nester, brother to Chester, Lester and Frank. Give him your warmest welcome and your loudest applause, for today is his first day as a jester."

The crowd let out a roar of cheers and applause and Nester suddenly felt more confident and he stood up straighter. He had forgotten why he was even afraid and without thinking he did a cartwheel and yelled as loud as he could, "THANKYOU!"

He had performed flawlessly, nailing every trick, flip and joke. By the time he was finished, women were crying with laughter, men were holding their sides and falling back in their chairs. The king laughed the loudest and turned redder than ever before. Nester just stood there and watched in satisfaction, for truly he was the greatest jester anyone had ever seen.

THE END

To you, the reader:
Thankyou for reading my story I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. :D Also I have an alternate ending for you that I couldn't resist writing.

- He had performed flawlessly, nailing every trick, flip and joke. By the time he was finished, women were crying with laughter, men were holding their sides and falling back in their chairs. The king laughed the loudest and turned redder than ever before. Nester was about to do another cartwheel when he realized something was wrong. The women were no longer crying with laughter, just pain. Several passed out from a lack of oxygen and died soon after. The men had actually split their sides and intestines spilled onto the floor. The king had turned redder than ever before but that was only because he was experiencing a heart attack. He died the same day and Nester was stoned to death the following morning.

Note: I already made the cover in MS paint (that's why it sucks) and of course saving it as a Jpeg makes it look dumb but I tried my best.

-

story book collab


New Obama signature.

2009-04-10 06:06:23 by full-metal-albatross
Updated

I made a new Obama signature on paint. This took about half an hour because I had to do it pixel by pixel. How tedious!

Also it looks way better and smoother when it isn't converted to a dam Jpeg.

New Obama signature.


Watchmen!

2009-04-03 01:10:23 by full-metal-albatross
Updated

I don't care what anybody says, the Watchmen kick ass. To show my appreciation I made this shitty little picture on paint.

Watchmen!


WHAT IS THIS!

2009-04-01 02:27:35 by full-metal-albatross

GOD DAMN CHINA TAKING OVER NEWGROUNDS!

"YOU DID IT! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!"

WHAT IS THIS!